Honey (day13)

Day 13
I feel so useless. Whatever i say or do you'll flare up. What must i do so that you'll smile and listen to me talk or maybe a mini joke? I guess there aren't any ways to make it happen. Why do i feel that our gap are drifting further and further when we just got together not long ago? Lack of communication? Jealousy? Untrustable me? My negative side? My attitude? My character? I study communication but i don't know how to solve this. I don't even know the barrier of our communication. It's really heartaching to hear that. I will find ways to improve this communication. But it takes two hands to clap (you always tell me that) and you to have say what you are not happy about to me? In order to make this effective. I am really unsure of whether you trust me anot. Though you always say you trust me but we are always debating on the same problem? Maybe I was too harsh with my words that made you go red with anger. But can you at least show that you are angry or whatsoever? It better then keeping silent all the way? If you think I am irritating, phrase it out, I'll leave. If you think I am childish, tell me, I'll learn to be matured. If you can't stand me, you can jolly well say it out. I'll leave straight away. Won't bother or trouble you. Just tell me how you feel, could you? I did put in effort to maintain it*touching my heart* But it all turns out to be my fault. Maybe I am the really with the fault...............

I really want to hold on, can I make it?
I really hope to make things better, but did i make it worst?
I really really hope you could place your 101% of trust in me, could you?
I really wish you will be happy, can you make my wish come true?
I am really tired, tired of myself.