How are you?

It's really hard to forget someone whom you love alot? So random of me to say this ~ After 5 days, you're still part of my life. Will be wondering "what are you doing?", "have you eaten your meals?", "having OT anot?", "are you tired?", "found a new partner already?", "do you still love me?". Ahh so stupid of me to ask whether you still love me anot when we're no more together. Still so interested in your daily lifes. I don't know why either. I might have seem to forget about you but somehow, somewhere, you will still pop out in my mind. Which i had no idea where it came out from.

But the good thing about now is, whenever i recapped anything, expression on my face is different from the last time. Last time , i will be tearing like someone has passed away(example) but now, no more tearing.

Still longing for that hug of yours which i used to own it. Feeling so empty deep down. No idea what i want or long for. Tried to find back the previous me, but i only found back half of it. No idea where the other half went to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiro's back from HK! Have tons of things to tell him man! Felt so lost without you SLOWBOY! Now you are gonna hear my till you get sick of me. *evil laugh*

Went to open my letter box and got my result slip back! I can't believe i passed my OB! I really cannot believe it! I remembered the day before the exam, i went out enjoying the moon! (aws) So wanted to share the news with you but decided to blog it here cause you will read my blog?

Well, im not sure. But I'm sure you will read it! :D!
I am missing you many many many x999999999999999999999999999999999999 !

Aiyoh, shall mug a little later ~

I CAN'T BELIEVE I PASSED MY OB!
YAY!! ^^

;Reply of tags

♥ ForSaken: welcome my lover <3>
ME: I will & u stay strong too (:

Kath {♥}: Yoyo ;D -ROMANCE-x3 here! Hoho, found ya blog le Btw, ytd i made a mistake. .__. psps. Aft tht i ask Forsaken, thn he say is Ahbite, not ahbell. X: Paiseh! X;
ME:Hahas, its ohkay la :D Im not angry abt it too :DD!

hhuiix: SURE ANOT !! or u smile for _ _ _ _ ? LOL ! hmmm . no matter who u smile who jus be happy and smile always lurhs ;DD stay happy !
ME: _ _ _ _? Who ? I will stay happy la cos i knw i have great frens that care for meee ! Meet up soon ! :D

Parklane

Went to ps yesterday to meet yumi and yuri. But before that, dropped by bunk to say hello to emodan. They are friendly sia... So funny can. Had our dinner together and danny and maojie came to say hi. Stupid maojie. Go die pls.

After which, went to down action city and met up with mystic , hellopanda and one more girl =x green bean brain keep shooting back yuri and it was damn hilarious. I swear. ! Then when heading to parklane, saw Htp & co. So misses the time back then ! Had our com(s) and audi ! :X

It was so dark that i can't even see the kepboard! Blahhblahh we went home =x

Bathed and everything , online!
Played and chatted a while and 2am ; sleeping time.

Ohkays, i just woke up not long and im lazy to go out.
Should i go and meet him? But if i meet him, i have to give an answer. Which i don't have an answer now! Aiyoh... Stress die me =\

You are getting out of my mind soonnnnnnnnnnnn ! :D


;Reply of Tags !

G: ive been missing you since my bd &everyd ok?!?!?!
ME:Me2 ! I wanna see u sooonnnnnn !<3

-ahJESS:Hellos :} Audition -ahJESS here ;D Lols ! Found your blog :} Hehs.
ME: Hello ! hahas :D

---AhJIIEx3:well, lover welcome ^^ stay happy and cheer up k? meet up soon <33
ME: Im really alright now (:

G: iyoh, shy, you put tht pic i draw for you, nxt time draw nice nice on black paper give you put inside file ok? muacks!
ME: Haha! Anything drawn from u, i'd like it very much! Muacks!

yl: u jeeep honey here there! call me! =x
ME:No more honey le. So DATE ME PLS! :X

hhuiix: stay happy ! i dun wan to see u cry anymore . u know what i mean and jus remember to smile ((: !
ME:I wont cry anymore! I'll smile for you people! and of cos for myself ! :D

♥ ForSaken: lover <3>
ME:Hahas, thanks (:

G: omg, dont stress, im here (: loveyou, dont make me wry ):
ME:It's rlly stress =\

JO: JUNIE JIE!
ME:MEI!!!!

A new beginning ; a new start

For once and for all, it's over again and it's for real this time. Holding on something that doesn't belongs to you won't end up be with you. Ohkay, lame. Maybe forgetting the pain I've got from you is much better. Though it takes time. Well, sometimes i may think i am over it but sometimes i think i am not. But I have set the determination to get over it already. It's better to have less pain rather to create more pain.

Life has to go on without him and i am sure life would be much greater without him. He is just another passerby which just passed by me. Just like what someone had said it. It just walk pass you.You noticed him maybe is because of something special made you look at him. Maybe he has something outstanding that just caught my eye. But i guess it is no more outstanding already. Seem to be losing the special glow in it.

The times spent with you were happy and sad. Unforgetable and memorable. Giving up and forgetting you.

A new beginning ; a new start .
A new me ; a changed me .
A new story ; a new chapter .

I miss you (:

He is loved

Darling glenna drew this for me!Loves:D

Handsome? But i think my honey more shuai :X

I am soon gonna be died . The assignment is really stressing me up! Didn't intent to do it but audrey and the rest kept nagging me to do it! Argh! I am almost done and i got to touch it up in school before printing it. Stress die me can?!

Last day of school and I am really lazy to go! But i got to take those exam tips from Audrey Mah! Damn it, she threatened me to go school ! Last day of school is always boring... I am lacking of sleep! Sleep! I need a good sleep! My eyes are trying to close now. Damn it. Tired die me?!?!

HoneyBF is loved by me :D

I am sure he knows that !

Muacks =O

honeyBF

I am sooooo happy! *Jumps for joy* Bf's awake ! It's like FINALLY! Oh my god!

And finally i went to school today ! After lesson's headed to the library and did my project. It's really stressing me up man! Stress die me =\. And of cause with honey's chat, it made me full of energy again! He is my energy source! Ohya, i was complaining throughout the lesson and friends were giving me their opinions. But i guess now , i won't do it =X

Reached home and had dinner with my mother & msn-ed with my honeyBF! When he told me he was awaken, i was like grinning from ear to ear. It is really happy to hear that can ?! He said he think till 1am in the morning till he fell asleep. Aws, poor bf. Made him think till 1am+.
I love you BF!

Thanks for all those care from you people! Many thanks to Flo,dori,boi,hiro,ivan & many more !

Gonna do abit of my assignment and also help hiro think of some things & im waiting for BF's call! I fkg miss him <3

Reply of tags

mangoCSP: SMILE SMILE /CHEER UPP!/<3
me:Thanks CSP! Thx for being there for meeee ! <3

val: hey girl, cheer up alright! (: Take it as he's just another passerby in your life! move on with life i'm sure you're able to do it! ^^ seeya ard in class. (:
me:Thx valerie :D Cya in class :D

-IVAN-: bell!heyoooo smile man...i said before im not gonna give you tissue for this kinda stuff ^^
ME: Yo smelly! I wanna a higher class of tissue PLS! ROFL.

G: dear! ily lah ok? muacks!
ME:Darl! ily too! missing since ur bthday! muacks!

hhuiix: bellbell ! anything can ring me up ! im free anytime for yoo (: ! smile girl . we are here for yoo . lovess <33>
ME:ahhuiiiiiii! Thanks for hearing me nag =X Cya soon again! loves!<3

YL: stupid BELL ! aiyo, smile luh dey ! so emo ! come out come out ! we listen t ur ranting & lend u our shoulder =D
ME:LDD! Walaus damn fkg long nv meet me le la. nv miss me uh! Bad la u! DATE ME PLS!

m.c: CHEER UP =D
ME:Thx idiot :D

mangoCSP: hongster die die die die ;x
ME:lols ~ ya first to die ;X

vOn: ask & i would lend shoulder t u.. cheer up ok?!
ME:yvon! i'll smile for u and ur daughter dawn ! :D

hhuiix: bellbell ! u forgot le mehh ! HND MA ! HONGSTER NEVER DIE ! but they will still die one day ! lol ! smile my girl ((: !
ME:ahhui~ LOL! hnd -,-" ya they will die one day =X Im smiling :D

-IVAN-:back to blog
ME:finally! Pls post and blog more abt me =X

Hiro: WAAA i back blogging eh xD
ME:another one back to blogging. blog more abt me too :X

G: IM SO SRY I COULDNT MEET UP W YOU GUYS!!!!! I MISSYOU TOOOOOOOOO
ME:ITS OHKAYS DARL! WE'LL MEET UP ONE FINE DAY ;DDDD

Poon: bo say till me de . nb T . T !
Me:wow, u tagged me :X hi poon! nb u bo contact me liao. Lost ur number lei, hp spoil~

---AHJIIEx3: hi lover <33>
ME:thx for being there too :D

tian shi aka angel girl: xing gan nu shen
ME: huh? weird chen hu. lols btw hello :D ure? ;x

IWANTYOU INEEDYOU IMISSYOU ILOVEYOU

I am so fkg happy that we are back together again. I just hope things can work out the way it is. I know you know that I love you. And i am jealous! Seriously, i have been telling flo what if "she" snatched you away from me. All i could say is, good luck. But of cause i hope that wouldn't come true lahs! Cause i know you love me right?*thickskin*

Been days since i last went to school. Really don't have the mood to attend school. Partly because of the break up lahs. Too upset over it =X
Had a cut on my index finger and it is fkg pain! Blood flooding like no bodies business! Till now it is still pain D:! How i wish bf is here with me now. I damn miss him lahs! Ohya, last friday met up junjie,ivan.leroy,danny & co. All together including me 9. So upset that darling glenna couldn't come. Been missing her since her bthday! I am glad they accompanied me lahs. Thanks for the cares , "toilet paper". In the evening, met flo, dori and BF! Accompained them to eat mac . I teared . I could only see his back view. I miss him so much. Once he went off, water pipe burst......

Ohkay, back to today's topic. Met flo & accompanied her to find for jobs! Ahhui joined us later and we had lunch together! They are such great companies! Was hesitating for some time whether should I buy that. And in the end i bought it! I hope ** will like it ! Though i don't know if ** will find it niang anot ><

Honey, do you know that i love you? Loving you more and more each day. Never will i let myself stop the love from flowing in me! I love you sooo much that i could hardly love myself! I am willing to try to make it work! Nono not try is must make it work! Muackzxzxzxz.

IWANTYOU! INEEDYOU! IMISSYOU! ILOVEYOU!
Hope to see you this week my love =D

060908

060908
I Love you !
I mean it !
I won't leave you !
Muacks :D

Randomness

I think I am alright for the time being . Thanks for the care and concerns given . I appreciate it alot. Really ! Like has to go on with or without him . Maybe without him will be much better . I won't do things to make myself regret or rather not sure in what decisions i have to make . It is like no responsiblity . Can't they just have some decision making done ? So hard to decide one thing ? Well, I am really glad i have some sense of decision making . That makes me have a goal in life . Rather then just holding on to something which is useless to me . Though sometimes I will be thinking why turns out this way . But thinking alot has no offence so why not i think more ? No idea why they have such thinking of "honging" . Is honging that fun? Make your name blacklisted? Make life miserable when you truely love someone but the person will think you are just playing with her/him? Maybe some hong to cover up the pain they used to have. But do you think that is it possibly to forget the pain? Nonsense lahs. Afterwhich when bored of the person, gives a lame excuse to ditch the person. Small kids excuse ley. Find a properly excuse would you? Please act like your age. Please have matured thinking when you are at that age.

Ivan, chill la. No point getting pissed over such bitches. *oops* =X

Ohkay, kind of random topic. Had no idea why i linked myself to it. Well, no offence in saying this . And i am not referring or pointing fingers at anyone . Just my point of view (:

Why when i set the determination to forget you but you appeared again =(
It's really hard to forget you =(
I miss you sooo much ><

Miss ya :D

Goodbye my love ; imy

I am feeling not okay.

Really not okay.

What you said really hurt me again and again.

Have you thought of how I feel?

Did you ever thought of how i feel?

Did i ever thought of how you feel?

Yes i did thought of how you feel.

I feel so lost.

Really lost.

I feel so lousy.

Really lousy.

How like that?

Why like that?

I feel so pain.

mayb u feel happier w/o me.

mayb u love me no more.

mayb u r damn bored of me.

but what can i do?

just to let u go, let u leave me.

boi n flo tried talking sense into me but none seems to work.

though i laughed, but i know that it isn't me who is laughing.

i feel so not myself.

i forgot how to laugh.

i forgot how to smile.

i forgot how to love.

i forgot how to forget pain.

i forgot how to forget memories with you.

i forgot how to ignore the pain i am having right now.

i forgot how to forget that i know you.

i forgot how to be the last time ah siao bell / junie.

i really don't know how to forget the love that i have for you =(

i don't know how to not miss you every minutes that i've got.

i feel so useless.

tiny little hopes just scattered and they can never be found back to placed them back together again.

i don't know... so lost.

i need a shoulder to cry on.

but i think depending on myself is better.

why is it so hard to know what you want.

why must you don't know what you want.

you said mayb ure still hao wan.

have you thought of how i feel when you said that?

felt like being played.

till now i don't know if you have really seriously love me anot.

you say people are so sweet and loving.

when i tried to be sweet, you said it wasn't me

do you know what my attitude is like?

i bet you don't know.

i can be easily flare up with anger but towards you, i just can't.

some friends said if it was them, there will just make a fuss about it.

i simply can't because i love you too much.

sigh, all i say seems too late for you.

i just wan2 say to you something.

To : Louis

Though we quarrel alot but that makes us overcome obstacles just like you said.

But now its all over.

Thanks for the memories you gave me.

Thanks for making me feel loved.

Thanks for caring for me.

Thanks for coming down to come meet me.

Thanks for not complaining when coming down.

Thanks for the warmth hug and the ily whisper.

Thanks for eveything.

You can be a very good bf, just that maybe you are not used to it.

May you find your real happiness in the near future.

If you need a friend to talk to, and if you feel comfortable to talk to me, im always there.

These mayb be the last time im saying this to you

I love you & i miss you <3

Goodbye my love

The date that used to make us one - 060908

I love you

I will do everything that i can to hold you back. Because i love you very much :D
I don't know why i fell so deep.
People telling me it isn't worth it but i ignored because i love you ><
Sarang Heyo ~
Please take care of your body and smoke lesser.
I miss your everything D:!
Been 1 week and i fkg miss you .

ilyx3

As long as i still love you, i don't find it too late (:
I just hope things doesn't get worser and worser.
But those things you said really hurt me alot.
I don't wish to let you go.
Those 3 words really came deep down within me.
Not that someone taught me that.
I meant what i said (:

I LOVE YOU :D

1st Month

Our 1st Month !
Well, mango and her bf came to my place and we bought goceries to cook. SPAGETTI!
My first time cooking and it was tiring! I was complaining hothot and hand tired. But for honey, i carried on cooking ! I have to thanks mango and her bf for helping too! If not it will be hell in the kitchen. Physco-ed Flo to go out and i cooked her share too!
She said not bad on the first attempt! And she said it cured her throat! Wow, my spagetti can cure sickness! (LOL)
Flo's so sweet luh! She accompanied me to bedok to find my honey and to pass the spagetti ! Sat some under block and i was LMAO! I really like being with them ! Honey is so cuteeeeeeeee ! You have yet to show me D:!
Went home ard 9+pm & i slept on the train. Flo has to wake me up if not i really overshot the station. She is so sweettttt lahsss!
Thanks Flo <3
& I Love Louis (:

Reply of tags.
YL : No luh ! You also can ask me out de ma. Now got gf mai me liao D:! SO long nv meet le !
Junnn : Lols...
MangoCSP : I didnt see his reaction. He ate it at home. But i guess he did eat it? xD
Glenna : Ohkays! I'll rmmber that! Meet sooooooooon !
Dawn : I think its "my everything - 98 degree"

Smiles

I'm alright now (:
Thanks for all those who careeee for meeeee !
It's sunshine after storm :D
I Love Louis Ong (:

Reply of tags.
Dawn : Which song ure referring to? current de or? miss u too! cya !
MIA-ing Ahxuan:Hello :D
Dust : Thx sharp pain ! ;D
MangoCSP :Thx for being there (: cya ltr !
Glenna : Sweetie ! i love u & u love me =x im being loved by u <3
Joannes : Thx joanne ! ^^
Daphne : yoooo! im ok (:
Sy : Thanks la ! Love u & dap la =x
YL : yoooo ahdan ! Meet up soon la, u bian shuai le ! ;x
Junn : yo xiao jun di! rest properly la ! When ur head ok, meet me k? Make me laugh die me =x

My regrets

My biggest regret is not showering more love on you. And now, it's all too late. But if having to let go will make you feel better, I'll repect your decision. But I am still holding on to the last hope i got. If I never try, I will never succeed. Therefore, I am putting my every efforts i have to hold on. My last strength is gonna be used up soon.

Why does this tragic has to happen on me? 2 more days to our 1st month. But it won't happen already. Your letting me go, letting me wonder about. But where can i wonder to? I bet I'll wonder to the times we had together. You asked me not to leave you but you are the one who left me instead. It all went the opposite way. You said you won't let me go, but you are the one letting me go. You said you love me, but i think i love you more.

Expression is just a form of showing your feelings. Not being able to express what I feel is horrible. I tried to express myself but ended up avoiding it. I tried every ways to show you that I love you but you did not notice it. I tried many ways to make you happy but ended up making you angry. When i said i tried to put efforts in it, but on the other hand, i had placed my every efforts in it already.

I remember you saying you will give me a unforgetable 1st month. But all is gone. No more. Back to step one. None of this is gonna happen already.

You used to be my property but now you disowned me. Tears just flow down upon seeing letting go this 2 words. I feel so useless. Maybe I am the only one crying over this and you are enjoying freedom. But i cried is because i have lost you. Not able to have you.

I find it pointless to blog from today onwards. Feeling numb. No feelings to describe my days of my life. Pointless. Very pointless. This might be my last post.

I just want to say that if you think it's really pointless of me holding on, I'll try to let go if you ask me to. But i guess it will take a very very very long time to let go.

ily ; holding on.