My biggest regret is not showering more love on you. And now, it's all too late. But if having to let go will make you feel better, I'll repect your decision. But I am still holding on to the last hope i got. If I never try, I will never succeed. Therefore, I am putting my every efforts i have to hold on. My last strength is gonna be used up soon.
Why does this tragic has to happen on me? 2 more days to our 1st month. But it won't happen already. Your letting me go, letting me wonder about. But where can i wonder to? I bet I'll wonder to the times we had together. You asked me not to leave you but you are the one who left me instead. It all went the opposite way. You said you won't let me go, but you are the one letting me go. You said you love me, but i think i love you more.
Expression is just a form of showing your feelings. Not being able to express what I feel is horrible. I tried to express myself but ended up avoiding it. I tried every ways to show you that I love you but you did not notice it. I tried many ways to make you happy but ended up making you angry. When i said i tried to put efforts in it, but on the other hand, i had placed my every efforts in it already.
I remember you saying you will give me a unforgetable 1st month. But all is gone. No more. Back to step one. None of this is gonna happen already.
You used to be my property but now you disowned me. Tears just flow down upon seeing letting go this 2 words. I feel so useless. Maybe I am the only one crying over this and you are enjoying freedom. But i cried is because i have lost you. Not able to have you.
I find it pointless to blog from today onwards. Feeling numb. No feelings to describe my days of my life. Pointless. Very pointless. This might be my last post.
I just want to say that if you think it's really pointless of me holding on, I'll try to let go if you ask me to. But i guess it will take a very very very long time to let go.
ily ; holding on.
No comments:
Post a Comment