Was Actually telling hiro about my greatest fear. And fantastic, it happened? Splendid isn't it? Got to give a pat for myself for telling my own future? I don't know if it's a positive or negative thing that i saw it with my own eyes. How torture can that be. No one could understand how i feel. Bottled up my feelings till the max and i called mango. How i wish i could just hug her and give myself a big 'cry' out. I just don't have the courage to tear in front of others. Bottled up everything really sucks big time. Felt like infinity of knifes stabbing right into my every part of my body. I wonder how bad can that be when I'm actually afraid of pain. When i opened my eyes this morning, i actually thought i had a nightmare? But it wasn't (: This is reality. Fate, i guess? Tried calling someone which at that point of time i wished to talk to, but couldn't get through his phone. Really felt like dying man. As i had said, im so afraid of pain, how can i die ! Sometimes i really do hope death can give an end to every sorrows and pains we've got.
Since you've already made your own decision, i could only wish you luck. But remember, no matter how many sorry you said, i don't think it will help much either to the pain i've got. Just enjoy your life with her, forget my existance. I guess you would be much happier without me bothering your lifestyles? I guess so. I think yesterday will be the last time we'll be seeing each other already. Anyway, good luck in whatever you do and god bless you two to be loving as before. Take great cares and I'm gonna disappear from your world.
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