Randomness

I think I am alright for the time being . Thanks for the care and concerns given . I appreciate it alot. Really ! Like has to go on with or without him . Maybe without him will be much better . I won't do things to make myself regret or rather not sure in what decisions i have to make . It is like no responsiblity . Can't they just have some decision making done ? So hard to decide one thing ? Well, I am really glad i have some sense of decision making . That makes me have a goal in life . Rather then just holding on to something which is useless to me . Though sometimes I will be thinking why turns out this way . But thinking alot has no offence so why not i think more ? No idea why they have such thinking of "honging" . Is honging that fun? Make your name blacklisted? Make life miserable when you truely love someone but the person will think you are just playing with her/him? Maybe some hong to cover up the pain they used to have. But do you think that is it possibly to forget the pain? Nonsense lahs. Afterwhich when bored of the person, gives a lame excuse to ditch the person. Small kids excuse ley. Find a properly excuse would you? Please act like your age. Please have matured thinking when you are at that age.

Ivan, chill la. No point getting pissed over such bitches. *oops* =X

Ohkay, kind of random topic. Had no idea why i linked myself to it. Well, no offence in saying this . And i am not referring or pointing fingers at anyone . Just my point of view (:

Why when i set the determination to forget you but you appeared again =(
It's really hard to forget you =(
I miss you sooo much ><

Miss ya :D

Goodbye my love ; imy

I am feeling not okay.

Really not okay.

What you said really hurt me again and again.

Have you thought of how I feel?

Did you ever thought of how i feel?

Did i ever thought of how you feel?

Yes i did thought of how you feel.

I feel so lost.

Really lost.

I feel so lousy.

Really lousy.

How like that?

Why like that?

I feel so pain.

mayb u feel happier w/o me.

mayb u love me no more.

mayb u r damn bored of me.

but what can i do?

just to let u go, let u leave me.

boi n flo tried talking sense into me but none seems to work.

though i laughed, but i know that it isn't me who is laughing.

i feel so not myself.

i forgot how to laugh.

i forgot how to smile.

i forgot how to love.

i forgot how to forget pain.

i forgot how to forget memories with you.

i forgot how to ignore the pain i am having right now.

i forgot how to forget that i know you.

i forgot how to be the last time ah siao bell / junie.

i really don't know how to forget the love that i have for you =(

i don't know how to not miss you every minutes that i've got.

i feel so useless.

tiny little hopes just scattered and they can never be found back to placed them back together again.

i don't know... so lost.

i need a shoulder to cry on.

but i think depending on myself is better.

why is it so hard to know what you want.

why must you don't know what you want.

you said mayb ure still hao wan.

have you thought of how i feel when you said that?

felt like being played.

till now i don't know if you have really seriously love me anot.

you say people are so sweet and loving.

when i tried to be sweet, you said it wasn't me

do you know what my attitude is like?

i bet you don't know.

i can be easily flare up with anger but towards you, i just can't.

some friends said if it was them, there will just make a fuss about it.

i simply can't because i love you too much.

sigh, all i say seems too late for you.

i just wan2 say to you something.

To : Louis

Though we quarrel alot but that makes us overcome obstacles just like you said.

But now its all over.

Thanks for the memories you gave me.

Thanks for making me feel loved.

Thanks for caring for me.

Thanks for coming down to come meet me.

Thanks for not complaining when coming down.

Thanks for the warmth hug and the ily whisper.

Thanks for eveything.

You can be a very good bf, just that maybe you are not used to it.

May you find your real happiness in the near future.

If you need a friend to talk to, and if you feel comfortable to talk to me, im always there.

These mayb be the last time im saying this to you

I love you & i miss you <3

Goodbye my love

The date that used to make us one - 060908

I love you

I will do everything that i can to hold you back. Because i love you very much :D
I don't know why i fell so deep.
People telling me it isn't worth it but i ignored because i love you ><
Sarang Heyo ~
Please take care of your body and smoke lesser.
I miss your everything D:!
Been 1 week and i fkg miss you .

ilyx3

As long as i still love you, i don't find it too late (:
I just hope things doesn't get worser and worser.
But those things you said really hurt me alot.
I don't wish to let you go.
Those 3 words really came deep down within me.
Not that someone taught me that.
I meant what i said (:

I LOVE YOU :D

1st Month

Our 1st Month !
Well, mango and her bf came to my place and we bought goceries to cook. SPAGETTI!
My first time cooking and it was tiring! I was complaining hothot and hand tired. But for honey, i carried on cooking ! I have to thanks mango and her bf for helping too! If not it will be hell in the kitchen. Physco-ed Flo to go out and i cooked her share too!
She said not bad on the first attempt! And she said it cured her throat! Wow, my spagetti can cure sickness! (LOL)
Flo's so sweet luh! She accompanied me to bedok to find my honey and to pass the spagetti ! Sat some under block and i was LMAO! I really like being with them ! Honey is so cuteeeeeeeee ! You have yet to show me D:!
Went home ard 9+pm & i slept on the train. Flo has to wake me up if not i really overshot the station. She is so sweettttt lahsss!
Thanks Flo <3
& I Love Louis (:

Reply of tags.
YL : No luh ! You also can ask me out de ma. Now got gf mai me liao D:! SO long nv meet le !
Junnn : Lols...
MangoCSP : I didnt see his reaction. He ate it at home. But i guess he did eat it? xD
Glenna : Ohkays! I'll rmmber that! Meet sooooooooon !
Dawn : I think its "my everything - 98 degree"

Smiles

I'm alright now (:
Thanks for all those who careeee for meeeee !
It's sunshine after storm :D
I Love Louis Ong (:

Reply of tags.
Dawn : Which song ure referring to? current de or? miss u too! cya !
MIA-ing Ahxuan:Hello :D
Dust : Thx sharp pain ! ;D
MangoCSP :Thx for being there (: cya ltr !
Glenna : Sweetie ! i love u & u love me =x im being loved by u <3
Joannes : Thx joanne ! ^^
Daphne : yoooo! im ok (:
Sy : Thanks la ! Love u & dap la =x
YL : yoooo ahdan ! Meet up soon la, u bian shuai le ! ;x
Junn : yo xiao jun di! rest properly la ! When ur head ok, meet me k? Make me laugh die me =x

My regrets

My biggest regret is not showering more love on you. And now, it's all too late. But if having to let go will make you feel better, I'll repect your decision. But I am still holding on to the last hope i got. If I never try, I will never succeed. Therefore, I am putting my every efforts i have to hold on. My last strength is gonna be used up soon.

Why does this tragic has to happen on me? 2 more days to our 1st month. But it won't happen already. Your letting me go, letting me wonder about. But where can i wonder to? I bet I'll wonder to the times we had together. You asked me not to leave you but you are the one who left me instead. It all went the opposite way. You said you won't let me go, but you are the one letting me go. You said you love me, but i think i love you more.

Expression is just a form of showing your feelings. Not being able to express what I feel is horrible. I tried to express myself but ended up avoiding it. I tried every ways to show you that I love you but you did not notice it. I tried many ways to make you happy but ended up making you angry. When i said i tried to put efforts in it, but on the other hand, i had placed my every efforts in it already.

I remember you saying you will give me a unforgetable 1st month. But all is gone. No more. Back to step one. None of this is gonna happen already.

You used to be my property but now you disowned me. Tears just flow down upon seeing letting go this 2 words. I feel so useless. Maybe I am the only one crying over this and you are enjoying freedom. But i cried is because i have lost you. Not able to have you.

I find it pointless to blog from today onwards. Feeling numb. No feelings to describe my days of my life. Pointless. Very pointless. This might be my last post.

I just want to say that if you think it's really pointless of me holding on, I'll try to let go if you ask me to. But i guess it will take a very very very long time to let go.

ily ; holding on.